Thursday, June 4, 2009

Letter for an Upcoming Marriage

I recently found a letter written to my grandmother just before she was married to my grandfather, who was a minister. Apparently she wanted brother J.C. Bunn of Washington to be the minister who officiated her wedding. As it happened, my grandmother ended up going on a train to meet my grandfather in Kansas, where the wedding was performed by brother V. Love (you know my grandfather must have planned that out special, don't you!). I thought that many of my readers would find this marriage advice interesting, and so I am letting you have a privileged glance into my family history archives:

"July 4th, '40

Dear Sister Lucile,

Your letter of the 29th of June was received in due time, also one from Joe under date of June 24th. in that he told me of the change in your plans. It will be much more economical and practical for you to meet him in Kans. and the expense that you will save will be used very conveniently in the years that are to follow.

I know Bro. Love very well and am sure he will be able to tie a good knot for you and one that will NEVER come untied. And that is the kind you want, isn't it? Remember me to him when that eventful day shall come. I have known him for over 30 years.

I appreciate very much that you thought of me as your first choice. But now that I shall not be present with you, I wish to convey to you my sincere well wishes. And I am enclosing a little poem I wrote many years ago and always give a copy to the young folks that unite in the holy bonds of wedlock. Just live up to all expressed in this little folder and your lives will always be happy.

Yes, I have known Joe for several years. I believe you are getting a very good husband, Lucile and I am sure your lives can be happy together. just strive to be every things God desires of you as a wife and I believe Joe will try to be all God expects of him as a husband and then you will be happily married. Just remember that angels do not live in human flesh and do not expect perfection in the other, use plenty of patience in bearing with loving kindness the frailties of the other and all will be well.

Your greatest problem will be in being so far removed from your kin folks. Joe asked me if I knew any church that would like to have a preacher located with them. I do not know of such a place now. But will be on the look out for you. But he is better known back in the central states and most of his work will lay in that direction. Try to adjust your self to those conditions, be content with the climate and do not get so home sick for your people that your life will be made miserable and his too. That would greatly hinder his work. You will not like the climate of Kans. as well as you do the coast country, but just remember you are marrying Joe to be his help meet, companion and inspiration in his preaching. That much of his success lies in your happiness and contentment. There will be quite an adjustment and re-arrangement in your life now. And the long distance from your mother and other kindred will make it impossible to come to them every time you desire. But all this you should and no doubt have already considered when you decided to leave the old home and go to Joe to become his bride. He now becomes the center of your life and all your grace, charm, talent, ability must be rendered to make his life's work a success. You will find many true friends among his and mine in Kans. and other places where he has labored. You will soon find them to be just as dear as the brethren in Wash.

And now may God bless your united lives, make them fruitful in good works and until you are called in death to part, be happy and contented.

Your true friend, J.C. Bunn .


Tell Joe I will try and write him later if I know where to address him. Let me know where you make your home. You will meet many of my true friends in Kans. Tell them I love them still."

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