Monday, September 2, 2013

Cobbler! Stick To Your Last; Or, The Adventures Of Joe Dobson

A Milkmaid and Shepherd Outside a Cottage, Circa Late 1640s

Joe Dobson was and Englishman
In days of Robin Hood,
A Country Farmer eke was he, 
In Forest of Sherwood.

Joe Dobson said unto his Dame, 
I vow that I could do
More household work in any day
Than you could do in two.

She soon replied, I do declare
Your words you shall fulfill, 
To-morrow you my place shall take,
I'll to the plow and mill.

Next morning came, they sallied forth, 
Each sure of doing well;
She with her stick, he with a pail, 
The rest I soon will tell.

Away went Joe to milk the cow, 
His business to begin;
She tossed the pail and kicked his leg, 
The blood ran down his shin.

But see him now sit down to reel
The yarn his rib had spun,
But puzzled and perplexed was he--
He swore it was no fun.

Next job to boil the pot he went--
The fire he had forgot;
He ran with chips and burnt his head, 
Oh! grievous was his lot.

Away went Joe to wash the clothes, 
But sore against his will;
The water scalded both his hands, 
Bad luck pursued him still.

He went to hang the clothes to dry--
It was a lovely day;
But oh, alas! a magpie came
And stole his wig away.

Away went Dobson in despair
At losing thus his wig;
The magpie flew with rapid flight
And left it on a twig.

Good lack! quoth he, I must dispatch
And haste the bread to make,
But stooping down to knead it well 
His back did sorely ache.

Loud crowed the cocks, the turkeys screamed,
The geese and ducks now quacked;
Enraged for food, which Joe forgot,
He was by all attacked.

An effort then poor Dobson made
The little pigs to feed;
The old sow tripped him in the mud
In spite of all his heed.

The old Dame now with speed returned
Quite stout and blithe was she,
And found poor Joe all bruised and ill--
Fatigued as he could be.

Now Mrs. Dobson, tidy soul,
Soon set all neat and right,
Prepared the meat and drew the ale--
They bravely fared that night.

Whilst they partook this dainty meal
Joe sullenly confessed
He was convinced that wives could do
The household business best.

A Picturesque Country Cottage, with Cottager Carrying Two Heavy Buckets

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