Monday, November 10, 2014

The Modern Way To Clean Out The Basment



First, get an early start. Pull out everything you can to make a path through it so once you get in, you can get out. By the time you are done with this, your friend next door will be awake and texting you, so you can have a break and answer her text and then send her a picture of the massive project you are undertaking. If your friend liked the photo, it might make a neat Facebook update, so upload the photo to Facebook, and put a clever caption on it-- "boy I need a Starbucks right now..." 
Look at the mess again, decide where to start. Move a box. Say, it might be a good idea to have "before" and "after" photos-- so take another picture of the mess and upload it to Instagram. 
Now a few comments are trickling in on Facebook. Some of them are very clever-- answer with some cute replies of your own before going back to work.
Pick up the old lampshade, and wonder whether to keep it or toss it, then wonder why you wonder whether to keep the out-of-style thing!  Say, this project might make a great blog post: "How to stoicly let go of useless objects for a cleaner house." Take pictures of  a few items that you might want to toss, to post on your blog. 
It isn't any good typing a whole post on a smart phone! Besides, it must be almost lunch time. So go in the house to fire up the laptop so you can do some decent typing. Get out the tablet to look up a good lunch recipe. 
After lunch, and typing your post, uploading photos, getting on Photoshop to crop and write quotables on the photos, searching your affiliates for any links that could be useful in your post, and looking up to see if "stoicly" is a word since the spellchecker seems to think that it isn't (you know you've heard it used before), publish the post, then read and edit it for the things you left out or shouldn't have left in. 
By now your friends on Facebook have simmered down, but there are some comments on your Instagram that could be answered. 
My, you didn't realize that the sun was getting lower in the sky. You really got distracted!  But at least you have a great blog post to show for your time. 
It's time to get back on task, but you just don't feel like it. Maybe a jaunt over to Pinterest to look up "Organization" boards will inspire you. Say, there are some really good ones there that you should add to your own boards, and some pictures to embed on your latest post. 
Well, it's time to get down there in the basement (or up there in the attic) and start following all that good advice you wrote about on your blog-- at least with the time left you can start a pile to take to the thrift store. Oh wait, your friend is texting you to say that your blog post is great! I'll bet there are some comments on the post already. Better check to see.
It's dinner time now, and you are getting awfully tired-- mostly your eyes hurt. You only moved one box and a lampshade. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day! I'll bet those Romans never had to clean out a basement anyway. They probably filled it in with dirt and built on top of it. Yeah, that's what they did!  That's why we have archaeologists today-- to clean out those old basements.