Tuesday, August 9, 2011

ON WITH THEIR HEADS

Due to the recent riots in London, I propose the following new laws:

 All rioters that have been arrested will be serving a long, long jail time.

 These inmates will go and clean up the sites they have ruined, and dig ditches, etc. for the rebuilding, while in chains.

 These inmates shall live in tents as they travel (in chains) while doing the above, even if it happens to be cold November.

 These inmates will be taken to the dump, to sort through (while in chains) the debris from the houses and cars they have burned, into piles-- piles of glass, bricks, wood, etc. -- for recycling.

Inmates shall be assembled every morning to recite the Exodus 20:1-17 in unison from memory before they will be allowed their breakfasts, which will be an unvarying diet of oatmeal.  Select, pertinent portions of the Bible (such as scriptures from Matthew 5-7) will be read to them  every week. The entire book of Proverbs will be read every month, one chapter a day.

 Inmates shall be taught a trade while serving jail time that will bring in an income. The income they receive will be used to pay for the expense of keeping them in jail (food, power, water, sewer, clothing bills and guards' salaries), as well as paying back the home/car/business owners for the destruction of their possessions, and subsequent replacement/rebuilding costs; paying for the time of the police/fire men called in to restore order, and any repairmen. The money shall also be used to pay business owners for loss of income due to business destruction, taxes owed on the property that was destroyed or damaged, until said property is bringing in an income again; the inmates will not get out of jail until these expenses are paid in full.

 The inmates' i-pods, cell phones, computers, Nike shoes, brand-name jackets, video games and other items will also be confiscated to be sold to help pay for all of the above.

All rioters shall be interviewed to find out which publicly paid program was commonly used by all of them; that particular publicly paid program shall be closed down and the public shall be spared paying taxes for something that did no good (You'll know it by its fruits). All other publicly paid programs of a similar nature which have not shown fruits of useful, self-controlled citizens shall be shut down as well. When such programs are shut down, if there are any riots or gangs formed, they will start at rule #1 above.

Any rioters on the dole shall be cut off of the dole, no public assistance monies shall ever be paid to them again the rest of their lives. Any public monies that would have come to them shall be given to care for little old ladies in nursing homes.

If, after being released, the former rioters are brought back because of any mischief, or seem unrepentant in their attitude, will not get a job, etc. they will be shipped off to serve their time in the jungles and deserts of the poorest parts of the world to come to an appreciation of how "the other half" lives. Until they are sufficiently thin and find themselves in great want of any possessions but the rags on their back, they will not be allowed back into the country.

This document shall be left open to be continually updated with extra consequences as they come to mind.

~ELIZABETH R.



Proverbs 1: 10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
 11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:
 12 Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit:
 13 We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil:
 14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:
 15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:
 16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.






Proverbs 4: 14 Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.
 15 Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.
 16 For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall.


Proverbs 14: 16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.


Proverbs 14: 33 Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but that which is in the midst of fools is made known.
 34 Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.
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