Saturday, August 11, 2007

Some Things are Better Left Unsaid, part one


By the
Pleasant Times
Resident Etiquette Expert




I would like to give some examples of things people say that often do not make any sense, and are better left unsaid. These things might not all be considered "rude" in this day and age, but they can unknowingly hurt the feelings of others.


"Dumping Cold Water" Remarks.

Girl With a Water Can

Girl With a Water Can
Magnet

Renoir,...
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Sometimes people feel the need to dump cold water on your projects, your hopes, your dreams, or even your small positive-sounding observations about things. Perhaps these people are not even aware that they are doing it. Here are some examples:

You are showing enthusiastically someone your new kitchen paint job, it is your favorite color of apple green and it goes with your apple themed dish collection. Your neighbor comes over and says, "it looks real nice. But my husband would never let me paint my kitchen green, and my son hates apples. But that is nice for you." (this is different from the friendly, "I wish I could do that too" kind of remark.)


You share your dreams of becoming a world-famous pianist with your cousin. They reply, "Yes, but you don't realize how much hard work it is to practice the piano that much. And you would have to travel all the time and that would too expensive"


You are finally enjoying your retirement, picking up your favorite hobby, and telling a friend how happy you are. They in turn say something like "well, not everyone gets to stay home. The rest of us have to work."

You are wearing your favorite shoes, your pretty summer sandals, to the store, and meet an acquaintance from the country. "Those shoes would never work for the farm chores," they observe.
Kid Catastrophe

Kid Catastrophe
Giclee Print

Potthast, Edward...
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One wonders how to respond to these kinds of remarks. It takes a while to even understand how they are meant! You may wonder if you did or said something wrong. What do these people want to hear, anyway?
"Oh, your son hates apples! I'll make sure to hide them when he comes over."
"I'm sorry that my staying home and enjoying my hobbies must be an offence to others! I'll just go out and start another career."
"You are right! What could I have been thinking to want to ever improve my musical skills!"
"I'll never wear sandals again! How stupid of me!."


Obviously, those would be equally wrong things to say, which would require another article on rude and mocking responses.


Or perhaps your enthusiasm was taken the wrong way. Perhaps when you were smiling at your green kitchen, your neighbor thought you were proposing that all kitchens everywhere should be apple green, or that by wearing sandals to the grocery store you were advocating sandal wearing as the only right way to dress.

Or perhaps a little more conversation could reveal whether the person meant to put you down, is jealous of you, or if they just could not think of anything to say and the cold water remark was the first thing that popped into their head. But, do you really want to know?

It is best to ignore the remark, and gently change the subject.


Greenaway Children, II



Greenaway Children, II
Art Print

Greenaway, Kate
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It can be easy to slip into the habit of being a cold-water-dumper, so we need to be careful to think about what we are saying. If someone is enthusiastic about something, we should respond in an appropriate way, and share in their joy. If someone likes to decorate their living room with bright pink flamingos, and shows you proudly, then you can always smile and say how bright they are, or how you can tell that they really make the other person happy. Inwardly you may be thinking that you could not stand to look at that all day, but since you don't have to, there is no harm in keeping that thought to yourself! Or, it may be the kind of situation that does not require you to say anything.

Won't You Have Some?




Won't You Have Some?

Art Print


Morgan, Frederick


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Editor's Note: The examples put forth here are all made up, and are not actual quotes.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The Art of Eloise Wilkin

Little Golden Books: Eloise Wilkin Stories

Sitting down the other day to re-read a Little Golden Book to one of my children, I again enjoyed the paintings of Eloise Wilkin. I grew up reading "Baby Dear" and "My little golden book about God," and I remember taking in the details of the illustrations of chubby-cheeked children and roly-poly babies with creases and dimples. Mrs. Wilkin was a wife and mother of four children, and her children and grandchildren were models for her illustrations.


My Little Book About God, Board Book

She illustrated several books written by her sister, Esther Wilkin, who wrote "Baby Dear." Mrs. Wilkin even had dolls produced that were taken from her illustrations. "Baby Dear" was a popular book, and Mrs. Wilkin had her grown daughter, Deborah, pose for the mother, and Deborah's little son was the baby in the story. It is such a delight to know that the illustrations that I enjoyed in this particular book, where the mother is taking such loving care of her precious baby, and the big sister is doing her best to imitate her mother by caring for her doll, is actually a family affair! To be illustrating her own daughter and grandson must have given Mrs. Wilkin great joy.

Prayers for Children

I was delighted to learn a bit more about Mrs. Wilkin, through an interview I found , http://www.triviumpursuit.com/blog/2007/02/21/podcast-2-interview-with-eloise-wilkins-daughter-part-one/ with her daughter Deborah. This is a recording of a phone call interview, and can be a little fuzzy at the start. Admirers of Mrs. Wilkins' art may be interested in the rather long interview. Parts two and three are found on this page: http://www.triviumpursuit.com/blog/category/podcasts/

Here is a place to purchase some of the books that are still in print:
Books Illustrated by Eloise Wilkins


Here is a list of books by Mrs. Wilkin:
http://www.loganberrybooks.com/most-wilkin.html
Here is a page about the Vogue doll from "Baby Dear"
http://pages.ebay.com/community/library/catindex-dolls-bade.html

Saturday, August 4, 2007

The Homemaker's Architect: Laundry Rooms

Ivory Soap Girl Washing



Ivory Soap Girl Washing

Tin Sign

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I think that there should be a Homemaking Branch of Architecture. Since Homemakers do so much repetitive work, I think we should have better spaces and tools to work with. I think a lot of my readers would have a few suggestions for such an architect, and for the appliance designers. Here are my suggestions for my Dream Laundry Room.

Some houses have a separate room for the laundry, but most have just a laundry closet, or a garage or basement. I propose a room off of the kitchen, with a separate entrance to the back yard (to get to the clothesline) that is not used for any main family traffic.

This room would be a good, useful size, with big windows for ventilation and a window in the door as well. The door would be wide enough to walk through with a laundry basket. A porch off of this room would be lovely. There would be space inside for several laundry bins or sorters, to keep as much of the floor visible as possible. Sorting laundry is a complicated business: space is needed to divide lights, darks, light delicates, dark delicates, really dirty jeans, baby clothes, bath towels, dish towels, etc.

This is the Way We Wash Our Clothes


This is the Way We Wash Our Clothes Art Print
Leslie, George
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There would be room enough in front of the washer and dryer to put a large laundry basket. A built-in rod for hanging clothing straight out of the dryer (high enough to hang up dresses), a retractable indoor clothes dryer for winter drip-drying, and of course handy shelves for detergents would all be very nice. Perhaps some people would add a space for folding laundry as well.



Since this is my "dream" laundry room, I'll just dream big and add an extra washer and dryer. I would like a super-sized front loader, large enough for blankets and comforters, and a small, stackable set for those really small loads. I would like to be able to run them all at the same time, and be on their own water heater so that someone else could be washing dishes or taking a shower without having to share the hot water. And I would like a little generator to run it all if the electricty fails.



I would like the washers and dryers to be really simple, and not computerized. It would be nice to skip the repairman and just have my husband be able to replace a part or tighten a screw. Or maybe I could even fix it myself! Therefore they need clear instruction manuals.



I would like to have the final rinse of the washing machine re-routed to a big laundry tub, where it could be used again as a pre-soak for some of the very dirty jeans before it finally drains. I wish that the draining water could be routed to water the lawn or the rosebushes.


The dryer would be deluxe sized, for that big comforter or the extra large load of towels. But most of the time I enjoy using a clothesline, for that free sun-bleaching and wind drying.


I'm so glad my husband found a deluxe "solar dryer" for me at the hardware store: a retractable clothesline that screws into the house wall. When I need it, I pull it out and hook it to the post, and there are five lines on it. My son said he couldn't find me in all the dresses I was hanging up on the line!

Here is an idea for a clothespin holder: I had made a cloth purse from a quilt shop pattern, and am re-using it as a place to keep my extra clothespins as well as sunglasses.

Recently I heard some ladies talking of the "old days" of doing laundry, when they hung their laundry out on the line every Monday morning. The ladies talked of how the laundry was organized on the line; one did not want one's underwear and socks exposed to the neighbors! So those items went closer to your house, and the towels and sheets were on the public side!

There is a lot to learn about laundry, there is even an art to putting laundry up on the clothesline. I recommend Cheryl Mendelson's book, Home Comforts, or her book called Laundry, for an interesting read about the ways to do laundry. Mrs. Mendelson even has illustrations of how to pin laundry on the line for the most effective drying.

Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

By Cheryl Mendelson / Simon & Schuster Trade Sales


Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Make your own Laundry Detergent

If you have ever been curious about making your own Laundry Detergent, here is a link to a recipe: http://cultivatinghome.blogspot.com/2007/07/laundry-detergent.html
Laundry Day


Laundry Day

Art Print


Shannon, Kay Lamb

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